Where are you going?

What we are looking for is what is looking
St. Francis

Are you aware of your goals in life?

Imagine that you are done living and in this moment you know that your time has come to leave the body. Would you feel you have completed your mission in life? Or would you feel regrets and realized that you have completely missed what was really important for you to experience?

It often happens that we live our lives on autopilot, performing what we think we should be doing or is expected of us. We grow up watching our parents and people around us going to work, saving money, dreaming of a “better life”. There are patterns of behaviour that we absorb unknowingly. These patterns are subconscious and feel like they are part of our own desires. We deeply believe that when we will find the right person, get married, obtain a diploma, have kids, have more wealth- we will finally reach that point in life when we can be happy. We believe that we have to perform these actions to get to our destination: living a fulfilled and content life.

Try asking yourself this question: How many external conditions are needed to be met for me to be happy?

Social constructs and norms literally constrict our freedom of will if they are not realized. When we consciously observe our thoughts and behaviours, we can become aware of our programming and perhaps even realize it is against of what we actually want to achieve in life. There is a reason why the material things we think we want don’t bring us fulfillment, on the contrary, may cause more anxiety, fear and confusion.

“the tragedy of an attachment is that if its object is not attained it causes unhappiness. But if it is attained, it does not cause happiness – it merely causes a flash of pleasure followed by weariness, and it is always accompanied, of course, by the anxiety that you may lose the object of your attachment.”
Anthony De Mello

When we set our goals in the categories of what is known through our programming, that is exactly what we will achieve. What we often don’t realize, is that what we are really looking for are not material things and achievements but rather the need for love, joy and compassion in our every day life. Once we discover these deep needs and truths within ourselves, our life goals can change from those of quantity to those of quality. Instead of looking for checkpoints, we surrender to the mystery of the unexpected and see that what we are looking for is already here. We missed it being busy achieving our goals, chasing our dreams. We literally can’t see it, because we close ourselves to observation of what is when we focus on visualizing what we think we want.

There is a psychological phenomenon: you can’t see what you don’t know.

Last week I was driving my daughter to see her friend. On a way back, as I was waiting to take a left turn and allowing the opposite traffic to pass, the people behind me started to beep louder and louder.
“What is happening? Why are they beeping?” – I wondered. Wasn’t I following the rules of the road? When the beeping literally jogged me out of my “sleep” or programmed way of driving, I noticed a sign- no left turn- freshly put out due to construction on the road. I realized that I was going on autopilot, not really seeing and paying attention and even though I was looking at the sign, my mind didn’t register it, because it was new. It was not familiar.

This is a clear example of how having a goal in my mind and going in the known route made me literally unable to see the changes in the environment. If this phenomenon is present on such a small scale, imagine how it manifests in shaping our lives. How does it relate to our goals and direction?

Sometimes it takes a real kick in the gut for us to wake up and realize that we’re head on going towards a disaster. We get sick, or loose something of value to us and we face our reality with more awareness. It is literally as if the universe is honking at us: “Pay attention! Where are you going?”

In these moments, we often realize that we have missed the point. It is a gift to be able to experience this awakening and regain the consciousness of the choices for our direction in life.

When we begin to live our lives through actions of love, compassion and joy we realize that the journey is not about any destination at all. We are always in charge, we have a choice. It starts with being gentle with ourselves. Loving and recognizing our joys, gifts and talents. Through this, such new paths open which we could have never imagined and predicted.

Human Design is a tool that can help us learn and discover the gifts that are available to us in this life. It is like having a navigational system to dig ourselves out of the dense net of conditioning and societal programming so we can discover the uniqueness of our life, which is like no other.